Commentary

Pet psychic is quite accomplished

At first it's easy to dismiss Marla Steele as a quack. After all, she claims to be a pet psychic — equal parts Miss Cleo and Dr. Dolittle.

However, upon careful and thorough examination of the critical considerations for such matters, Steele indeed does appear to have the proper credentials for such a calling. She's from California. More specifically, she's from Petaluma.

Petaluma.

Really, where else would we expect to a find pet psychic?

Well, this weekend we can expect to find her in the Valley channeling telepathic messages from dogs, cats and lizards — living and dead — at a couple of PetSmart stores.

She's scheduled 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday at 10030 N. 90th St. in Scottsdale; and 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Sunday at 10825 N. Tatum Blvd. in Phoenix .

Readings are $20 each, and proceeds will help fund PetSmart's charitable programs.

Steele is quite accomplished in the field of animal psychology. She said she can get readings from any kind of animal from horses to snakes, no matter the brain size of her patients. The psychic sessions last about 10 minutes, which is long enough to provide answers to three questions.

Furthermore, she can pick up animals‚ vibes in a variety of manners, such as in person (which may not be the precise term considering her subjects are not people), photographically or telephonically.

"I can work with just a picture or just a person's name and a description of their pet," she said. The required pet descriptions cover the pet basics: Name, breed and age. OK, she's equal parts Miss Cleo, Dr. Dolittle and police sketch artist.

Steele said her psychic powers are based on an ancient Japanese healing art that focuses on "energy centers" within each person and animal.

"We're all basically matters of energy running around, so what I'm doing is basically connecting my energy to the animal's energy and reading them that way, which is why they don't need to be present to work," she said.

Well, of course.

Once she establishes a psychic link with an animal, she picks up mental pictures, smells, words and feelings, she said. She is able to ascertain how pets feel about their owners, other pets and their food.

Now, I'm not sure why anyone would want mental pictures or smells provided by dogs of other dogs, considering the view dogs often have of one another, but there are plenty of things about the science of psychology that I don't understand.

Steele said pets have strong opinions about people's romantic interests and about people's living arrangements. Pets also have plenty of observations about their own physical aches and pains.

That came as news to me too, because I always thought those lines of commentary were why we had parents.

She acknowledges there are skeptics. She counters with this question: How do dogs know their owners are about to return home?

The only answer: They're psychic.

Of course.